Last year I decided to embark on an intensive trauma resolution program with Rachael Maddox 8 months out of losing my mother.
While I had brought on significant support to help me transition into life post-loss, there was one area in my life that screamed at me: my desire to dream + build towards that dream.
In the wake of loss after loss, I found myself cycling between anxious and numb when it came to the next steps in my life; building a life, building my business.
My capacity to believe I could dream or goal set or expect any kind of sustained goodness in my life had come crashing down around me and I couldn’t understand why I couldn’t JUST PUSH THROUGH.
Research shows that trauma significantly impacts our pursuit of personally meaningful goals, which directly impacts our personal well-being.
“Why dream for something if it can be ripped violently from your hands?” said my trauma. I was experiencing what the research calls a “sense of a foreshortened future”- I felt deep helplessness, an inability to overcome what I had internalized as a chaotic Universe that would SURELY take everything from me in an instant. Desiring anything was only painful, receiving it excruciating.
And, this wasn’t just about my healing, it was in my DNA. My parents both lost their fathers in their teens. My father’s favourite song was “Here for a good time, not a long time”- we played it at his burial.
And so it was the part of me and my lineage that screamed out for healing. That part that knew that old ways weren’t leading to liberation. An evolution of my tools was required.
And that’s what drew me to Rachael. What fuelled the desire for repatterning towards self-sovereignty, intimate belonging and clearer co-creation.
And slow, somatic healing was my new way; breath by breath by breath.
And I’m so grateful.
And if this support sounds like balm on your belly, let’s chat. Go here to book a complimentary call.