The Blog
In the coaching world, we’re often looking for the different manifestations of ways we block ourselves from success, whether that’s on our journey towards better health, a better career, more happiness… the good stuff we all wish we had more of in our lives. The ways we block ourselves from attaining these goals are numerous, truly. And not only are the ways numerous, the depth to which some of these patterns reach are profound. That’s why a lot of us turn to coaching, both as a client and as a practicing coach.
Becoming a coach is like signing up for a lifetime of self-help books. A lifetime of putting yourself through the ringer on the daily- a lovely thing we like to call “walking our talk”. And we strive for that everyday, but sometimes we also need a little nudge.
Right now, I’m embarking on a year-long journey to deepen my practice. Through Mentor Masterclass, I have a coaching partner. On our first call this week, she drew my attention to the words I use to describe the thesis I’m currently writing in fulfilment of my Masters degree.
The word I used: messy.
She called me out by asking the simplest of questions: Why do you describe your thesis as messy?
Ughhh… I… don’t know? I’m on my choose your language choose your life game. I’m up on it, and I like to think that I’m deliberate in my language because I’m aware of the manifesting power of words.
You see, I’d cleaned up my language around my fear of writing and my fear of not having anything intelligent to say- but those were just the obvious ones. There is the day-to-day way I describe my thesis… and those words impact my experience.
The daily discomfort I associate with my thesis is so embedded, feels so true to me, that I didn’t even notice the words I was using.
NO WONDER MY THESIS FEELS COMPLETELY UNALIGNED AND JUMBLED.
If my HUGE goal for this spring is to finish it, then I need to check my language STAT.
Next time something in your life feels misaligned or stressful, start paying close attention to how you speak about it in two ways: to yourself, and then to other people. And then make a switch. (PRO TIP: if you’re making awkward jokes about it, it’s prooooobably misaligned).
This thing is a beast.
I feel in control.
This thesis is never-ending.
I feel confident that I will finish this thesis in May 2015.
This thesis is difficult.
I write this thesis with ease.
I don’t have the time to write this!
I have abundant time to write this thesis.
Call in the experience you wish to have. Write your new thoughts and desires down. And then use them to anchor your conversations about your experience. And then, tell me how it goes. What shifts did you experience?
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“Ask and you shall receive.”
“The Universe conspires to give you everything you want- just ask!”
These kinds of catch phrases run rampant in the coaching and new age community (guilty!).
So we get it. And we practice. And it’s hard (and I’ll talk about that at another time). But there’s something else I want to talk about today.
When we have this conversation, it’s usually about our Big Dreams To The Universe. You want to be abundant- ask for it. You want more freedom- ask for it. But what would happen if we started “asking for it” on a more person to person level (har, har… but, ya!).
I mean, what if we asked our nearest and dearest for what we wanted instead of holding onto all of these unspoken expectations of our relations. Think about it: we buy into the concept of being clear with the ever-knowing omniscient Universe to get what we desire… but not the closest, most important people in our lives (who, for the record, are not ever-knowing and omniscient)?
So ask.
If you want a special day planned on Valentine’s from your lover? ASK.
If you want that raise? ASK.
If you want to try new stuff in the bedroom? ASK.
If you want support? ASK.
Try this.
Affirmation: It’s safe for me to take up space.
If it feels a bit icky, push through. It’s only fear. You won’t regret it and your relationships will only bloom.
xo,
Jo
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