Lately, there’s been a lot of media attention around the rising popularity of self-help and the staggering statistics that despite having more information available, we’re more and more depressed, anxious and unhappy.
Here’s my take on the situation: Books are a beautiful way to raise awareness. They can be a beautiful mirror to show us parts of ourselves that we’ve misunderstood or misjudged or that are hurting. And that, in itself is HUGELY fucking liberating.
And gaining greater and greater insight into other wellness journeys can open space within us that can act as a beautiful balm of possibility.
AND what I know about deep wounds is that they are almost always coupled with isolation. They cut us out of communication and community. They put us into competition and coercion. And what’s worse, is that your “lack of progress” is about you not showing up, not making the right choices, not not not not.
It reinforces the shit-talk you’re trying to create space from.
And what I also know about healing is that the miracle must match the BIGNESS of the wound. And if isolation is at the core, regenerative community is the cure.
A book, while potent in content is void of community. And this big stuff, she’s calling out for TOGETHERNESS.
While potent in information, a book stays static and lacks nuance. This big stuff is calling for iterative movement, flexible titration, personalized processes.
Our greatest tool for healing is community co-regulation. In the presence of at least one other person, or in the presence of a group that can see you, can feel you, can hold you.
Does this resonate? Let me know in the comments below.
If this feels really right in your body, if you’re looking for community tending and care, I’m here. If you know all the things + it’s still not moving, invite the miracle of togetherness in.
This year has been a tough one with many lessons on life, transformation and thriving. In short, it has been a BIG FEELING year.
I was recently filling out a questionnaire about myself for a new coach I’m working with (because coaches need coaches too!). While I do make it a practice to take sacred pause often, there is potency in answering a list of questions that I don’t often ask myself. The process allows me a moment to claim my current state fully and reflect on how I might’ve answered it a few mere months or years ago.
What is my greatest fear? I don’t have any. I am filled to the very brim with trust that whatever it is that I want and desire in life, truly, will come to pass. That whatever comes my way in the form of challenges, setbacks, and blocks, I am beyond capable of holding myself through and thriving.
What am I most proud of? A few years ago, this question might have made me cringe. I maybe would have written some things that I’ve heard reflected back to me, and I most certainly would have caged them in some sort of passive-aggressive “I did this but doesn’t everyone I’m not special and I didn’t do it alone” kinda BS. Not now, and never again. I am infinitely proud of everything I have created in my life and the part I’ve played in creating and receiving it all. Of the things that have come easy and the things that I’ve suffered for. I am unabashedly proud of the woman I am– I am in deep, profound veneration of her and I really do enjoy screaming it from the rooftops and asking people to join the party and it Feels. So. Liberating.
What do you have to have in your life, so that you can feel at ease and fully be you? This was an exceptionally powerful realization. This last year has been heart-wrenching and exhausting on every level. I have experienced excruciating pain and suffering in the form of anxiety attacks, overwhelmed and a flare up in my chronic disease. And in all of this, I have had myself. In the eye of the storm, I have given myself the gift of healing presence. In all the awful, the strength and resilience I have carefully cultivated over time was my rock and I lay down on it, every night. I called in support and love, which showed up in huge and magical ways that I am eternally grateful for, but at the end of the day in those dark hours of the soul, it was me who had to show up.
Everything else in my life is a BONUS. Cuddles, crystals, conversations… even fresh vegetables. ALL a bonus. I have to have me. She’s the one who can heal me, the one who can ask for help, the one who can carry me through. And after years of seeking strength from without, doubting my capacity to love, to heal, to be accepted, to find peace… I have found it within.
Thank you, thank you, thank you.
This is what I want for every woman. Not to be an island because we must, but to be sovereign in ourselves to thrive no matter the conditions.
And if this kind of strength calls to you, let’s connect on a call to start your healing process.